Drug use can happen in any family, to great kids with great parents. To think that it ‘won’t happen to us’ is spectacularly ignorant, and incredibly dangerous. The happiest, strongest, most connected and loving families can find themselves one day having to deal with teenage drug use.  

If your teen is using drugs, you need to know that this is not a reflection on your parenting or your teen. The same brain that can lead to experimentation with drugs is likely to be creative, curious, intelligent, and beautifully open to the possibilities that exist outside the box. The world will always need these types of people. They are our innovators, our explorers, and our entrepreneurs. They are our inventors, our creators, and our discoverers.

As with anything though, the difference between flourishing and falling can come down to one moment, or one bad decision. Falling is part of growing up. It’s how our children learn and find what they are capable of. Sometimes the falls can be frightening, but awareness is key – awareness of the signs that a fall is happening, has happened, or is about to happen, and awareness of how to break it.

Why All teens are vulnerable to addiction.

Teens are particularly vulnerable to addiction for a few reasons. The first is that their brains are wired to encourage risk-taking, courage, discovery, exploration, and a greater reach into the world. Some teens will be more wired towards this than others, but the potential will be there in all of them. This is a great thing and it’s what they are meant to do, but it’s easy to see how those same strengths can land them in trouble.

The second reason all teens are vulnerable is because their brains are at a critical point of development. Think of it like a bridge that is in the middle of construction. If that bridge is exposed to traffic before it is completed, it will break, sometimes irreparably. If that same bridge is exposed to traffic when it is completed, it will withstand most of the stresses and strains that it’s exposed to. Teen brains are in the process of forming billions of new connections – bridges – between brain cells and between parts of the brain. If these are stressed at critical times, the damage can be devastating and will make it more difficult for a healthy adult brain to form. The critical period will last until they are about 24 years old.

All teens have brains that are wired to encourage them to take risks, to be curious and brave, and to stretch beyond what is familiar. This is a hugely important part of them growing up to be healthy, strong adults. If they didn’t do this, they would be adult bodies with the capabilities, resilience and skills of 12-year-olds. 

Teens are also wired to focus more on the potential positives of a situation and less on the negatives. This is normal, and in the right situations, will support their courage and flourishing and expansion into the world as they make their way to adulthood. It is through taking risks that they learn new capabilities and new strengths, but of course, the line between healthy exploration and risky behaviour can be fine enough to fit through the eye of a need no trouble at all. 

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

The first 3 to 6 months will be the hardest and it’s important to remind your teen of this, and to remember yourself. If your teen is using drugs, it doesn’t mean they are addicted, but an early response is the best way to stop the spiral. If they are addicted, it will be a case of two steps forward and one step back some days – and that’s okay. There is no quick fix for addiction.

Because the reasons for drug use and the nature of the drug use is different for all teens, what works for one person might be useless for another. Don’t give up if the first thing you try doesn’t work. Keep going and don’t be discouraged. As traumatic as it can be to discover that your teen is using drugs, know that your teen can recover from this and set themselves on a healthier path. 

Above all else, if your teen is using, don’t take this as anything negative about your teen or your parenting. This is something that you and your teen can grow through. Your love, understanding and patience will be vital. A normal part of parenting is sometimes fighting with your teen but always fighting for them. Let them know that nobody will fight harder for them than you.